First, let's kill all the __________.

Fill in the blank

I may have read only one of the 3 of my opponent's cases
I may have only went through my mooting speech once
It might be 4.00 now

But I am totally not worried at all (as compared to the frustration earlier today during coy lecture)
The peace of God which surpasses all understanding is guarding my heart,
and i stand stolid in the knowledge that tomorrow will be a good day!

awesome song: You Found Me by Big Daddy Weave

Funnily enough, today while i was running ard the empty field, i saw a cloud shaped like the baby makers [refer below] in pixar's partly cloudy, except without the cloud base which they sit on. It was massive and bearded, with hands stretched out in the process of molding a ball of fluff. Which was really cool cause its like seeing animation in real life. It was even more cool in seeing the cloud as daddy God making cute little human babies - making me, in every way perfect. The depth of love and menticulousness that goes into the process is so intimate.

Anyhow, today was a beautiful day. The clouds were fluffy [baby making cloud included], outlined by soft yellow rays of the evening sun. Kites dotted the sky, rapidly beating their wings in the strong breeze. Thanks daddy God!

Haha the fail blog is seiously quite funny

"If You, LORD, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand?

But [there is] forgiveness with You, That You may be feared."

Psalms 130:3-4


This is mysteriously beautiful. Instead of exacting punishment, instead of visiting the sins of the fathers to the 10th generation, instead of smiting sinners for every single wrong, that man might stand in obedience and fear of God, no, instead of all those things, what brings fear of God is his forgiveness. It is in God's infinite compassion and agape love, in his choice to remember our sins no more, that fear is instilled.

And i think the nature of this fear is indeed so different from a fear that is derived from the nature of a vengeful God, from the nature of a God that will make bad stuff happen to you to make you fear him. This kind of fear is so much greater, so much more nobel - the fear from complete amazement and awe at God's greatness. And this fear doesn't drive people away or keep people's heads down when they approach God; this fear draws his children, in the full knowledge that they are completely loved and forgiven, that they may come to the throne of grace BOLDLY and seek mercy!

It isn't better to be feared than loved. Its better to be loved - for that produces fear.


I think this is simply another amazing, counter intuitive spiritual truth that rebelles against the wisdom of the world. Very much like the other spiritual principle of giving if you want to recieve [and not hoarding]. God is so amazing in turning men's wisdom over his head.

Thank God and nice VCF seniors for not having to buy any books cause Timo loaned out all his books to me for a year! woooooo! Thats like a significant saving of a few hundred bucks

"Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good;
Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints!
There is no want to those who fear Him.
The young lions lack and suffer hunger;
But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing."
-Psalms 34:8-10

Taste and see that the Lord is good. How do you know that God is good? by tasting, then you will see.

It doesn't say listen and see, observe and see, read and see, do bible study and see, pray fervently and see, fast and see - it says Taste! and see that the Lord is good. The act of tasting is a very personal thing, it involves consumption, an impartation, where the food becomes part of you. It involves activating an inner sensation of taste. Likewise, taste of God, consume Him, ask Him to give you a taste of himself, and when God touches you personally, you will have to walk away saying that God is good, all the time.

It says that after you taste, you will see that the Lord is good. You won't leave thinking that perhaps God may be good, or that perhaps God is good and has greater ways and plans which at the moment right now i cannot seem to understand and it seems really bad to me now but never mind i'll still try to trust in him. No, when you taste, you will see that God is clearly, unequivocally, good to you.

If you have lack in your life, "seek the Lord and you shall not lack any good thing". If there's healing needed, or finances, or whatever, seek the Lord. Even the young lions lack - animals who are agile, capable, fierce, go-getting, self-made lions, even they lack things. the solution is not to solve the problem yourself, to grit your teeth and press through. Just rest, seek the Lord, and you shall not lack any good thing.

I never really understood the therapy out of shopping for clothe, or bags or shoes,
i've only just begin to realize that what floats my boat better is, strangely, buying tech stuff

I rmb the elation at getting the asus, for example, which still remains a great buy - hasn't crashed or blue screened on me, hasn't been decidedly uncooperative in its operating speed, hasn't been bogged down by crapware.

But more recently [like on wed], i got a pair of alteclansing speakers for a fantastic price of $60 buck [when it was originally going for 90]. To add to the excitment of the buy was the process of engaging in some bargaining with the shop aunty. I'm not the type that usually find the inner strength to do bargaining - i mean, the price says what it says, if you don't want it don't buy ya? Plus anyway, how do you know what's for bargain and what's not? izzn't the normal assumption that everything is non bargainable? should we test the waters on every product by asking the ntuc cashier if she cld charge a lower price? "eh aunty, the tissue...arrhh, can charge 10sen lower orh not ah?"
But anyway, ya i managed to get another 6 bucks off the already discounted price to get a net gain of 30 bucks discount. Enhanced retail therapy in the making.

Then i went to buy something else off steam yst night, and its significant cause its my first online game purchase - sam & max season 1!! now ive been eyeing this for sometime, ever since i found out that steam sold it, and was completel surprised at the ease of buying computer games nowadays. Just fill up the credit card details, and you can start dlding the game. walah within 10 min, i have the game on my com, no more going to challenger and browsing its catelouge, no more hyperactive fiddling of the boxed set on the train rereading every word printed on the back, its simply magic now.

Anyhow, i really love those oldie adventure games that ive been playing since sec sch days. There's just a certain endearing affinity to these adventure games that things like counterstrike or left4dead doesn't have. Its almost like reading a comic book and loving the characters.
When i hear the monkey island theme song, my toes tingle.

so in memory of times ole, behold sam and max, updated for the new millenium

There's always a gazilliion things i wanna blog abt but after procrastinating/not having the time to do it within the window of a few days, the significance of the event just dissipates along with the desire to scribe it down.

Therefore. I shall blog abt camp NOWnownow

frankly my expectation of camp was really low. Before camp i was telling everyone, [even parents, being driven on the way to camp] how pointless the entire camp is, how ridiculous the idea of suddenly wanting to get the 3 grps together simply to have quiant celebration of the church's 70th anniversary. I did not expect to learn anything, did not expect to have a huge lot of fun, and was not expecting God to do anything at all tru this camp. It really seemed to me that the camp was driven by a very human vision.

and i'm glad that i can say i was proven dead wrong. I perhaps it was becasue i had such low expectations, any good that happened became magnified a hundred fold. But really, i don't belittle the 'good' that i experienced in the camp. It was really damn fun. My grp rocked its socks and everyone was mostly v enthu and got along well with each other. The ppl were lame [metaphorically and literally - refer to facebook pic of wheelchair] and i tot they cld generally connect with each other. In fact, i was pleasently surprised. I think we come into camp with all kinds of preconcieved notions of what 'they' are - the other bunch who talk abt different things, who are filled with enthu type kias tt like to jump ard and make things happen, who speak chinese a lot haha. and really, these impressions and walls just crumbled tru the camp. Was suprirised to find the the CJ side are prob even more angmoh pai then EJ, considering the number of AC kids there.

It was cool that i got to talk to cj ppl like on a more serious level, got to ask them abt their impression of ej ppl - i think the general feel approximates: attased, snobbish, smart, rich,
which is also so totally not true la! strange the kind of impression that can be created. i'm glad for the camp tt church has become a friendlier place.

I was also seriously wrong abt not expecting God to move in this camp [its focus was, after all, bonding ya? so what room was there for anything spiritual]. I think lesson learnt, really, don't judge la.

O btw funny event - rachel got the whole camp jumping rnd and rnd to God is moving, which i think is a super big deal. Altho cld see tt a few were uncomfortable, i was completely amazed tt everyone joined in eventually. V funney initially it was a only a few lone individuals [e.g. yingxuan, haha] who were jumping ard but as she did the chours again and again and again more and more ppl started joining in. kudos to her guts.

finally, allow me to say tt i think my precamp attitude was rather selfish and inward looking. I naturally assumed tt everyone else wld love having the camp except the ej ppl cause we're the most outsider of the 3 grps. naturally assumed tt our grief and ennui wld be the greatest, and therefore justified the complains. I was surprised to hear during the sharing on the last day that the other 2 grp's ppl were all not tt excited abt having the combined camp too. I didn't see that they too had to step out of their comfort zone, i didn't see that at least they tried to make the effort to be enthu, to reach out, to make this work, while i was just moping away. Ahhh well, kudos to them too, really appreciate everyone for making this work.

I'm just wondering abt after camp tho, like what 5, 10 yrs into the future. I wld rather not meet someone then have an aquiantence turned cold. Its infinitely more ackward not saying hi to someone you once knew who passed you by than a total stranger. Shld i end up waving hi to the same peson again and again in church with nothing else to say. I think there's a social cost to every hi that is not followed up with small talk. I don't think im very good at the art of keeping friends.

Lemme promote this SUPER HILARIOUS uk show QI

the aim of the game is to avoid giving answers that are wrong and obvious and to get the correct answers to which you score points - but the questions are so difficult that the most the panel can do is to try to give quite interesting answers, which are often wrong.

its downright embarrassing how the egm turned out...for both parties, the rabble crowd who were damn rude and the ex-newguards who were slightly less rude [and powerless]

http://wayangparty.com/?p=8890 - click the recordings to hearferyourself

john rawls idea of public reason has new meaning injected into it mon - the basis of seeing your fellow citizen as fair, equal and rational citizens, and offering them fair terms of cooperation that they might reasonably accept just became that much more impt to me.

Cool verse:

"now to him who works, the wages are not counted as grace but as debt. But to him who does not work but believes on Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is accounted for righteousness" Romans 3:4-5


I think this has wider application apart from the issue of salvation and being justified. Really, the point here is that if you work really hard, then when you recieve the result, its really coutned as a debt, something that you deserve. If you toil really hard in whatever you're doing, be it in school, church etc. then the results you recieve [which is not even guaranteed] is more like a due. How then can you genuinely thank God for whatever good results that transpire? would it be not be mere words, carved hollow of meaning by the the sweat and late nights and worry over the issue?
But if you rest in God, if you work but not toil, if you believen on Him as the justifier, the provider, the one who's more than enough, then surely when blessings come, you can say for sure that it is grace, and not a debt owed to you.

Went to Ronald's baptism on sunday at YCKC, and met my sister there, which was a surprise, and also quite ridiculous considering we stay in the same house.

K but that aside, an even more ridiculous situation, inside ronald's testimony was his secondary school experience where he was "influenced by classmates who...preached a 'Christianity' built on a heaven-versus-hell-retributive dogma". And i immediately thought of benuel [and in fact, told derek: haha that must be benuel]. I don't know why, i just see benuel as a very combative person.

But embarrassingly enought, ronald later said to me during lunch "hey you know the person i talked about it my testimony - its you!" So apparently, i told him tt he wld go to hell, and how not to go to hell is not do satanic things, like listen to satanic music, and subsequently confirmed that his music stash was satanic becasue it contained aerosmith songs [but hey, tt heavy metal long haired screamy rocker, anyone frm before the 1800 would have been excused for branding him the spawn of satan]

I completely, totally have no recollection of what i said to him, which is good cause i think i will just die of guilt, or embarrassment. But i do rmb that at tt time, i never understood what was more effective an evangalism method than just tell the person he's destined for hell. I mean, noone wants to go to hell right? ergo, everyone would gladly come to God with thankful, repentant hearts.

So yea, the point i make is this: looking back at my younger self, i'm really rather embarrassed. I rmb myself as prideful yet cowardly, and hypocritical, especially. I rmb [i think] doing a post on how i saw myself in primary school - to the same conclusion, that basically i sucked. I wonder how i'll see myself today 10 yrs frm now.

Other point to make: sry benuel haha no offence intended to you. This really just goes to show how decitful and prideful the heart can be - it immediately points the accusation at some other person. tsk.

Just to serve as a testimony to the future:

I am completely healed by the blood of Jesus - therefore right ear you will be open, becasue it is already done in the spiritual.

"I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him." - Mark 11:23